On the Facade of Public Image

Post type: Short Excerpt

I haven't blogged much in the last while, here comes another reflection on negativity, as a warning, close this tab if you do not wish to read further because negativity just destroys your day even more.

The trigger today was, well, another thing that was all too likely to happen to me happened as I found out. Long story short - I got black listed for some event because of well, vocally, loudly, repeatedly dissing something to various friends at the event that was inappropriate (during the event previously). Of course, this got overheard by the supervisor or whichever ear, and now I'm on the blacklist.

Many have told me along the lines of watch what I write and what I say in blogs and in public on the internet. That it was "not acting smart" to publicly express negativity and crudeness.

Undoubtfully, in our packaging-heavy world, it's good for popularity, "facebook likes", image, and reputation, and the all-cursed word, "professionalism", to post only the inspirational, positive, upbeat and cutesy little life-details about your world.

But my world is not always the above. My world has its Yin and Yang.

But it seems to be common sense that we must go sob, complain and voice out our frustrations to our friends and family discreetly in secrecy, yet all the big sunshine, smiles and rainbow is shown to the rest of the world.

Why?

Someone has once told me "don't go and look at those inspirational regimens and writings on the internet, they have no idea what they are talking about" in a time when I was going through some difficulty.

I'm not sure if I agree with that statement, because sometimes I do get inspirational things from the internet and I must admit, I like looking at sunshine and cute animal pictures too. But I must admire the person's down-to-earth-ness and blatantness of telling me, yes, there are negative things in the world.

In fact, bad things scar, for a long time. But as fake and insecure and attention-seeking as we humans can possibly be, we simply choose to be quiet (and of course, many of us are quiet and are much better at self-adjustment than I am to begin with), and keep those evil thoughts and feelings bottled-up.

Unfortunately I am physically and mentally incapable to do that. I want to let the whole world know that unfairness happens, so as to destroy their day by displaying my experience. It is their choice what they think of me. If you want a dip of my sunshine, you will have a sniff of my rotten fart too.

Like politicians, our public image on the internet, social media, and in public places, we put on the best, the greatest promises, the most professional outlook possible, downplay all negativity or make them seem funny, neutral or simply "the past". Yet once they take office, all the glory and promises, well, those never happened. But in truth, maybe all we are is the treacherous iceberg beneath the ocean.

We grow from our faults, but why is it that putting the bad, which are in equal importance to if not more than the good, out there, to display in them in the open space, is condemned upon by the society?

Why do we condemn the courage to display vulnerability in its most truthful shape?

Let me ask you, if you are positive and happy all the time, how do you feel the struggles and agony of the others, and how do you have the patience to understand others and listen to their stories when you are too busy polishing your own happiness?

In class, we are told that as an instructor, your students don't need to know about if you had a bad day, or whatever your personal difficulties are that is affecting your performance. Why not? Because that is irrelevant to what your role is to them? Because you should be strong and a role model? Because your weakness will get exploited? Because it adds unnecessary burden and annoyance to others without need be?

But why should other people's problems be understood as burden to other people? Why do we teach our kids to be independent and strong and goal-oriented than to teach them to have sympathy and kindness and patience for others?

Welcome to my world. If you see me, you will see all of me. The good and more importantly, the bad. My rudeness, my laziness and just overall down-right depressing and disgusting parts of me. I will lay out it all and tan them under the sunlight of the world wide web. This is my religion, this is what I will live by.

And if you think that this is unacceptable, you can ascii-70856775 (my attempt at being educated and graceful) right off.